Love knocked on my door II

Love knocked at my door and asked me a series of questions which got me to question how much I loved myself. I had taken it for granted that I did love myself a lot until I heard all the questions love had to ask. Not all of my answers were really satisfactory. Loving myself would be fundamental in my obedience of God’s commandment to love my neighbour as myself. When I profess to love my neighbour as myself what exactly do I mean?

Love asked me, ” are you patient with yourself?”. Are you patient with yourself? When you set goals you wish to achieve and it seems like you are making baby-steps, are you patient with yourself? When everyone seems to be making headway in life and despite all of your efforts you can’t seem to bag a job you like, are you patient with yourself and your job-search efforts? Are you deliberately, patient with yourself? Do you make room to allow yourself grow and achieve your goals? Or do you constantly riddle yourself with disappointment-to-myself speeches?Patient /ˈpeɪ.ʃ^əns/ – the ability to wait or continue doing something despite difficulties or suffer without complaining or becoming annoyed. 

Love asked me “are you kind to yourself?”. Do you attend to your needs? Need for clothes, food, water, rest? Do you seek help, the way you would have offered if someone had asked? Do you think about your own feelings when in conflict, when your are offended, when you offend, when you are worn out? Are your feelings always subject to the feelings of others? How thoughtful are you, when it comes to you? Would you buy yourself that lovely key-holder once in a while just because it makes you smile. You can only show true kindness to the extent that you are kind to yourself. If not there just might be a chance that your kindness is pretentious ( 1st Corinthians 13:3). Not being aware of our own feelings hinders our self-awareness and our emotional intelligence   Kind/kaɪnd/  generous, helpful, and thinking about other people’s (your) feelings

Love said, “are you envious, boastful and proud?” Are we envious, boastful and proud? These might seem to be pretty obvious dangers to stay away from. I think they’re especially dangerous when it comes to the issue of self-love. It is hard to esteem and honour yourself when you are constantly envious of what others have achieved. To be envious of another is to lack contentment with what God has given you and think you are not or do not have enough? On the other hand, we could be in a state where we are constantly touting our own praises, constantly and loudly. Boastful praise of one’s self is self harm since it could potentially stand in the way of chalking greater things. So in this instance when we choose not to be envious of others we show both ourselves and the other party love. Envy/ˈɛnvi/a feeling of discontented or resentful longing aroused by someone else’s possessions, qualities, or luck.

 

The rest of my thoughts on self-love in the context of 1st Corinthians 13 will be in another post soon- Love knocked on my door III

 

Love knocked on my door

Love knocked on my door and asked “when?”

I gave love a puzzled look and asked “how?”

Love peeked through the window and asked “why?”

I gave love a queer look and asked  “why, why?”

Love let itself in, took a seat and did a triad

“Why will you not love yourself?”

” When will you start to truly love yourself?”

” What does loving yourself mean to you?”

Although a little exaggerated (poetic license : ) ) these are the thoughts that the Lord laid on my heart as I read 1st Corinthians 13 on the 6/08/18.  Have you ever considered obeying and living out 1st Corinthians 13 with yourself as the object. I had always looked at the passage from an agape and romantic point of view but God gave me new insight into it and I am excited to share it with you. Find my reflections here.

Education and social capital

As a relatively reserved person, I constantly tease a more-outgoing friend of mine that she’s my social capital encompassed in one friend. She’s an expert at striking a chord with a stranger and cannot understand for the life of her why people like me keep holding back. When we talk she makes reference to someone in our circle whom she thinks I should know and I have no idea about. When we step out, she stops like a thousand times to chat with someone she knows. Overtime, I’ve come to accept that my teasing her is an acknowledgement of how important social capital is.

At all levels of our schooling years we meet so many people and sometimes it is not enough to just say hi or fiddle with your phone over the four year period. Build bonds, build social capital. Get over yourself consciousness, nobody is looking at you, nobody is paying attention to your sentence construction. You really have no idea, the issues that people have on their minds. They are really just thinking about themselves and how to lead their lives. Those who are really thinking about you and looking for avenues to make you feel low about yourself are just suckers and will suck you up into their den if you allow them. It sounds like a difficult math test, but honestly get over yourself nobody is really thinking about you, the way you think they are.

Complement people out loud and not in your head, say hi, find out what interests others, talk about the red and green banner at the bottom of the stair case, stop stratifying your class and placing yourself in the bottom strata. Its alright to stratify – but place yourself in the top strata so you are comfortable enough to be nice to everybody without feeling below some group of people. Constantly practice making small talk and you  will realize it’s not half as hard as it seems. Pay attention- remember names, remember details- it will come in handy in building that bond. You will realize that most people are nicer than you assumed. You will realize that nobody bites your head off. Some might actually be rude ( because they have issues of their own which has nothing to do with you). Relegate them to a simple hi and a smile (if you feel like it) remember you are at the top of the strata and they should be privileged to make your acquaintance. If they can’ t acknowledge that- it’s their loss not yours.

Social skills are essential not only because we need to build social capital, but because we are social beings and there’s fulfillment in social interaction. Its a wonderful delight if after school you meet your classmates and you can remember their names. It’s even more exciting if there’s some basis for starting a conversation because you built a bond some years ago.  Get over yourself-get out there!